Chapter 3 Human Blood, Yum Yum

This is a fan fiction story set pre Twilight. All is property of Stephenie Meyer. 

There is some light cursing. Please do not read any further if that upsets you!!!

 

This is set before the family moves to Forks. Please feel free to comment. Thanks, Mrs. The King

This chapter is sort of in the middle, there will be other, fill in scenes, but I had to get this one out of my head.

In my senselessness, Edward had backed me into the alley next to the candy shop. I was held to the wall by his tremendous strength. I opened an eye. He was braced as if he were about to be hit by a truck.

My veins stretched against the boundary of my skin. I realized I was pushing Edward. And I could win. I could move him. I was the truck he was bracing for.

“You can. You can move me.” His voice was so strained. I kept licking my teeth and testing their sharpness with my tongue.

“That man is an undercover cop that lives in the area. He is thinking of his little daughter and how she loves this candy shop. They come here every Friday night after school.” His whisper was so low and urgent I knew I was close to winning.

I just want to smell him. Taste him a little.

 

Even the voice in my head sounded like a monster. Just like the voice of my maker on the roof.

 

 

I caught a glimpse of the undercover cop. The smell paralyzed me. Heaven. Oh, I was so hungry. I couldn’t even remember what had been so important to Edward. I wanted to call out to the man, draw him into the shadows. It was like Edward wasn’t even here at all. 

 

And then I saw her. His Grandmother. The cop’s grandmother.

They followed me here, too.

 

The Grandma was dressed comfortably in elastic topped pants and a floral top. Her bluish hair and calm demeanor totally out of place. I knew what she was. I knew only I could see her.

She took steps so she was in between me and the man I knew without asking, was her grandson.

 

“Sasha, You are better than this. I need this man to be alive.  I love him with all my heart. If I had a life to give for him I would. “ She begged. And then she waited.

 

The fury filled me. I braced my back against the wall and shoved Edward away from me. I took off running. I went right through the Grandma. She wasn’t real. The grandson saw the blur coming towards him and went to draw his gun. By the time he had touched his holster, I was four blocks away. Edward was keeping his blurry pace next to me. Except for a rip in his shirt, his calm face did not betray any emotion.

 

I knew where I had to go. I knew how to get there. I ran faster. And faster. I tried out jumping thrown in with running. I had some distance from the vampire that tried his best to save me from myself.

 

By the time I got to the jail, I was far from my escort.

The jail was just a building. No guards outside. Protected only by walls and doors.

Which were no match for me anymore. I ripped a thick, sure looking door right from its hinges. I tossed it over my shoulder like dirty laundry.

I never heard the door hit the asphalt. That’s when I knew he had caught up. I heard him set down the door with a gentle clank.

But he didn’t try to stop me anymore.

I walked through the empty doorway. I must have come in the emergency exit. No guard was in front of me. Just rows of cells. I stood and glared.

I found what I was looking for. I tried to concentrate with all the heartbeats around me. I flexed my head from shoulder to shoulder.

One cell held a non-threatening looking man. Despite the orange prison jumpsuit, he had the demeanor of a banker or an accountant. No ominous face tattoos, no scary face. The only thing different about him was that he had company in his cell. At least 15 different women were standing around him talking to me at once.

“Stop. I can’t hear all of you at once.”

They all tried to talk again.

“Ladies, please.” One beautiful young girl quit talking and just pointed. At the man in the cell.

“He killed me” she whispered.

Picking up on her cue, the rest of the ladies started to point. And whisper the same thing.

I glanced at Edward. Was he seeing what I was seeing? Did he know? I could see from his face that he was trying to make sense of it. I would imagine super strong vampires don’t get surprised much. Especially one who can hear thoughts. 

“Ladies. He dies tonight. Move on. I have remembered you.”

I had the pleasure of watching the prisoner wet his pants. I started to smile.

What must this be like for him? I just ripped a door off the hinges and talked to people he can’t see. It must be just like vengence.

Edward stepped in front of me and with one quick movement, removed the cell door.

He was allowing it.

I turned to the snivieling serial killer in front of me. Recognizing him now from my human memories, his face was plastered all over every newspaper that could be bought in New York.

What luck.

Edward’s voice was cold as ice “If you must, he is a good choice. I read his thoughts. He is guilty.”

I smiled and licked my teeth, I held my hand out to the soggy, scared man.

“Come here, a**hole.”

Edward was everywhere at once. He found the security camera, ripped the dvd out of it and smashed the camera.  He quickly told the prisoners they would be next if they ever shared what they saw.

Edward looked so menacing. And yet I was here to kill the dude that was now crying a step in front of me.

Edward grabbed my arm and hissed into my ear “Feed in private and hide the evidence.”

I tossed the weeping murderer over my shoulder.

“Time for dinner.” I raced through the roads until I found a park. I slid behind a tree and began to feed. The liquid curing everything inside of me. I had not realized that every muscle was bunched. Every vein was empty. I guzzled and gulped.

Eventually. I was sucking on nothing but air.

I was disgusted. Not for having drank the blood, but for having ingested any part of this evil sack of twistedness. So many woman. He was a waste of skin. His life had brought nothing but pain to so many. I laid his dead, bloodless body aside and started to dig a hole with my hands.

Before I knew what happened,  I had company beside me, digging. Wordless company.

The grave was a good 15 feet deep. We both jumped out of the hole. I went to reach for the a**hole’s body. Edward stopped me with a gentle hand.

“Let me”

I sat on the ground.

Thanks. I suddenly felt weary.

Edward dumped the body. Then he poured gas on it from a can he had set by the grave. He must have lifted it from a car on the way to my feeding ground.  The hole burst into flames when he dropped the match.

He is an excellent accomplice.

I was rewarded with a snicker.

He sat next to me on the ground. I was filthy.

He still looked neat and together. Only his shirt was torn. I owed him a shirt. And maybe my soul.

I could feel the ladies before I saw them. The air becoming purer and the gentle vanilla smell intoxicating me.

I looked up. They were all smiling. I could see the peace in their faces in the firelight. Each one walked close by me. I could almost feel them brush my shoulder. I knew behind me they would be gone. Moving on. Going to rest.

And then he and I were alone again.

“Why do they smell like vanilla?”

You can see them?

I glanced into his beautiful eyes. For the second time tonight I saw him surprised.

“Your eyes, Sasha.”

I reached up to touch them. Afraid I had squeezed them out in the pleasure of the feeding.

“They aren’t red.” There was disbelief in his voice.

Ok. Yeah. Last time I checked they were black.

 

“No, when you feed on humans, your eyes turn crimson. That is the way it is. The sky is blue, grass is green and blood from people turns your eyes red.” He kept staring at my eyes.

What color are they?

His hands held my cheeks.  I looked around.

 

“They are blue.”

Wow. I was expecting something a little more fantastic from your reaction. Like florescent yellow. Or eyes like strobe lights. That would be cool.

He shook his head again. “Strobe light eyes. I think you bumped your head during the change.”

The way you keep saying “The Change” makes me think of menopause.

 

He ignored my thoughts. “Your eyes are a little like lights. They are so bright. It’s almost like they can glow in the dark. We will have to try them out on a human. I will gauge their reaction. See if you can pass as a non vampire."

We took a moment to replace the soil over the pile of ashes.

“One more thing” Edward mumbled more to himself than to me and dashed off.  I heard a ripping noise in the distance.

I watched with my jaw held open as a tree came marching toward me through the woods in the park. I reached up and rubbed my eyes.

Rubbing them got me distracted. I wonder if I could light up my hands with my eyeballs. I held my hands a few inches in front of my face looking intently for a blue glow on them. Nope. No glowing eyes.

“You do know we are not playing hide and go seek” Edwards voice brought my eyes up from behind my hands. He was holding a Giant Maple tree as if it was the morning paper.

You would so suck at that game anyway. Carrying around your hiding place.

 

He walked over to the fresh soil and jammed the tree into the ground. By the time we were done smoothing out the soil, no one would ever tell that this tree had been replanted to cover a murder.

We walked away.

I still had not forgotten our conversation. I had lived my whole human life being able to see spirits. Ghosts. I had to learn to swallow my terror and speak to them. Find out what they wanted and help them move on. I never told a living soul.

I assumed I was all alone. I felt the spark of hope. Maybe in this ridiculous new life I would have a partner. Someone else that could face these spirits with me. 

I looked into his face hopefully.

“I can’t see them. Sorry. You are still alone.”

His words cut much deeper than they should have. I wasn’t invincible after all.

“Some things get harder and some things get softer.” He said through gritted teeth.

“What do you want? Why the hell are you here anyway.” Abandoning think talking in my hurt anger.

“We need to get you somewhere safe. And explain things. And make some choices.” The calm voice. The tour guide voice. I bet it protects him better then his strong arms.

“I see talking to ghosts makes one insightful.”

I thought you said I am still alone.

“I am doing a job for my superior.” All business.

Using your invasive thought reading skills for good or evil Edward? I thought in one direction and looked in another.

We had walked back to the morgue. Was this my home now? I mentally shivered thinking of the box I woke from my change in.

No one had noticed the door flung open in our absence. I walked into the room from my first vampire memory. On the floor was my toe tag. I had it in my hand as soon as I thought I wanted it.

I remembered the voices around me when I was in the box. This was no movie theatre. Only one person, now vampire, would hear voices in a room full of death.

I walked to a cooler. A box. And put my ear to the door. I heard a gentle murmuring. Frustrated with how dense I was, I ripped the door out of the wall. I didn’t need to do human hearing. I encouraged the soul inside to come to me. An older woman climbed out to stand in front of me.

She looked so confused. Her spirit appeared to me in the clothes she favored when she was alive. A beaded colorful sweater was draped over her shoulders. I wondered inanely if she ever used more then the first button on her sweater.

She started to look around the room. I looked with her. It was such a cold, basic place. I was dressed like a refugee. Edward was standing silent with his back to the observation window. Peeping into my head. I am sure, judging from his stillness.

We locked eyes.

Get out of my head. This is personal.  

He shrugged his shoulders and went vacant again.

I noticed the spirit was starting to turn in the direction of her body. I knew she shouldn’t look. I don’t know how I knew. I had never been in the room with the spirit and it’s body.

 

“Please, look at me” I urged her, trying to keep the panic from my voice. I shouldn’t have worried. My new voice was so smoky and pleasant.

“What is your name?”

She straitened up. Seemingly remembering her manners, she held out her hand for me to shake. This part was tricky. I can’t shake her hand. It would be too much of a shock for her to find that she had lost density.

She looked at me curiously when I declined her simple gesture. “My name is Betty. I was on my way to my poker game.”

“What do you play?” I smiled genuinely at her.

“Hold’em. What else is there?” She was adorable. And feisty. I liked her.

And now I would break her heart.

“Betty, sweetheart, you didn’t make it to your game. I am so sorry. Do you remember anything?”

She looked down, became flustered and looked back up.

“My cell phone rang. I hate that blasted thing. I never answer it when I am driving. But I started to look for it. I took my eyes from the road for a moment. And then..”

She took a gasping breath. “I crashed. I crashed the car. Everything hurt at once.”

She started to stumble.

I stepped closer to her. “Sweet Betty. You died in that car crash. I need you to move on. Pass to the other side.”

Her eyes filled with tears.

“No. No. no. My Bill. I can’t leave him here. We have been married for over 50 years. He doesn’t know how to be without me. I cook and he sets the table. We clear the table together. Every time. Every time.”

I yearned to put my arms around her.

“Betty, when you get where you are going you will still feel his heart and his love. And you can send him your love. The sooner we can get you there, the sooner he can feel you again.” I tried to reassure her with this new voice. It seemed all wrong.

Betty steeled herself again. “You tell me what I need to do for Bill, and I will do it.”

“Go. Go to where the positive energy is strongest. Let it carry you Betty, you have lived a beautiful life.”

In a hint of vanilla and a gentle plume of light and she was gone. I felt her go by me and I could sense that she had made a huge wonderful difference while she was alive.

“Goodbye, Betty”

I walked to the next door and ripped it off.  Spirit after spirit clamored out. Some yelled, some cried, but I got them to leave. One by one.

Finally, only dead flesh and two vampires remained.

 

Silence. Now what.

Now What.

Edward returned to his eyes and ran his hand through his messy hair.

“That was beautiful.”

That was private. They trust me with their confidence. It is not supposed to be witnessed.

My anger started to boil.

“Nothing is private to me. I have to hear it all. I have to see it all. Always. There is no off button. No time to think by myself. Always background noise. Always. Year after year. What I just saw was magnificent. You do this a lot?”

 

There is no off button. Year after year. But I used to be able to cry with them.  I thought his words bitterly back to him. Still angry.

“I can see what you see. You are not alone if I am here. I am sorry if my words hurt you before. I had no right to take out my frustration on you.” His earnestness won me over. I can accept an apology.

I shook off my hurt feelings like a dog getting dry. 

“Right now you resemble Frankenstein most of all, we better get you cleaned up.”

I eyed what looked like a garden hose hanging from the morgue wall and wrinkled my nose in distaste.

“Vampires can be a bit more civilized then that.” He motioned towards the door. Such a gentleman. Even if he was a vampire.

I noticed a white bag in one of his hands, almost hidden behind his back.

What you got there, worst burglar of all time. A morgue souvenir?

He looked reluctant to tell me.

“Your personal belongings.” he said quietly

Oh. oh. Please. Can I see them?

I could tell he did not think this was the right time or place. I knew I was fast enough to snatch them. But I waited, trying to be dignified in my request.

He handed the bag to me.

I sat down on the floor again. And tore it open. In the bag were just a few things. My purse. My necklace. And my car keys.

So little. So little was left that I could touch. I had changed inside and out. I had murdered a man. I had shared my deepest secret with a vampire. I held the necklace in my dirty hands. Just a simple locket. Opened to reveal the words “Love Always, Mom and Dad”

 

The shock of their names sent my mind into a whirlwind. How could I ever be near them like this? I would eat them. I knew it immediately. My parents might taste the best of all, so close to my own old blood.

“Astute observation. And a correct one. You need to die for them. And stay very far away.”

I flipped through all my fuzzy, happy memories  mentally.  My anguish lodged in my throat. Where there used to be the release of tears, there was only pain. I curled my body around the locket, careful not to crush it.

I felt him next to me.

“Sasha, when you get where you are going you will still feel their hearts and their love. And you can send them your love. The sooner we can get you there the sooner they can feel you again.”

I felt his arms encircle me.

I could feel his fuzzy, messy hair as he whispered just behind my ear “I’ll carry you if I have to, but people are coming, and today will be sunny, so we must get indoors”

I put a hand on his arm. I looked into his bottomless eyes. “I can do it. Tell me what I need to do, and I will do it.”

I stood up and put my things into my purse in one easy motion.

 “Just what that outfit needed, a purse” Edward snickered at me.

Jealous, Girlfriend?

I heard low growl. Ha.

The walk to the apartment was a quiet blur. It seemed absurd to wait for the elevator up when we could just climb up the side of the building.

“That would be real inconspicuous.” Sarcastic and snarky. “We are supposed to blend in.”

Blend in. Live among the very things we are going to eat for dinner?

Edward stepped out at the penthouse level.

He held the door with one hand and motioned for me to step out with the other. The gesture was so graceful. And unusual. It harkened back to a different time in history when men wore powdered wigs and panty hose with ballet shoes.

I saw his chest rumble with a laugh.

“I  never wore panty hose.” A crooked smile as he opened the simple door. “What kind of history books did they have in your school anyway?” He stepped inside and clapped his hands together twice. The Penthouse instantly was illuminated with light.

“The clapper? Clap on, Clap off? Seriously?” I was dumbfounded.

He shrugged “Carsile thought it was.. Unique.”

Dude. This place was exceptional. The clean lines off all the furniture spoke of great style and expense, despite The Clapper.

I looked down at my filthy self. With all the white upholstery I felt like an ink pad in a room full of paper.

“You’ll want a moment to freshen up, I will call for some clothes.” He was so sure about it.

I watched as he pulled a silver cell phone out of a drawer in the dark wood buffet by the couch.

He flipped open the phone and smiled. He flashed it quickly in my direction so I could verify that his wallpaper was still my humiliating moment with the chocolate ball.

I snarled at him in jest. The next thing I knew I was mid back flip, teeth bared. As I tried to land on my feet, I hit the wall, shattering the beautiful mirror. I stood amidst the carnage of the decoration.

“I scared myself with my own growl!” My eyes were wide with shock.

I looked towards Edward. He was staring at me shaking his head, while waiting for his phone to ring whomever he had called. 

“Alice, Could you possibly bring me a wardrobe for a size 8”

He held his hand over the mouthpiece “Could you turn around for a moment?”

I pointed to myself; he nodded and lifted his eyebrows in expectation. I twirled; hearing the mirror glass shimmy off of my bare, dirty feet.

His attention was then back to the party on the phone “Better make that a 10.”

I squinted at him with a mean look. I decided against growling.

He clicked the phone shut and slipped it into his preppy little pocket.

“There is a robe in the bathroom you can borrow until your clothes get here.”

I had so many questions. I need to know if he was even one of the good guys. Was I even a good guy?

But I needed the get clean..

The shower was long and I found that even just turning on the hot water, the warmth would not seep into my bones like it used to. Before. When I was alive.

I used his expensive man soap and shampoo. He has girly conditioner, which made me giggle inappropriately. Or maybe appropriately.

 

I wrapped myself in the thick white robe. I had even cleaned out under my nails. Dirty from the grave I had dug.

 

The front door was clicking shut as I stepped into the posh living room. The mirror I had shattered gone. The floor impeccable.

“The clothes are in your bedroom.” His white face looked even whiter. I had the feeling whomever had just left had imparted some bad news.

I headed down the hallway he motioned to and found a bedroom. A new wardrobe was hanging in the closet, the drawers of the dresser, shoes, everything I could possibly need. Each piece was expensive and ridiculously stylish. This Alice person had great taste.

I slipped into a pair of designer jeans, a few layers of sheer t-shirts of coordinating colors. I found a pair of funky sneakers. I fluffed my hair in the mirror, it was almost dry.  There was an array of makeup to choose from, I grabbed lip gloss and slicked on some mascara.

I examined these new eyes. They were creeping me out. I had loved my deep green eyes. Now I felt like I had an eye transplant from a husky dog.

 

I walked out to find Edward on the pristine white couch, still as a statue. He wasn’t blinking. Nothing.

I felt a shot of panic. I clapped my hands loudly to get his attention.

We were plunged into darkness.

All at once, I heard Edward’s exasperated sigh, his hands clapping and felt my body flying in the room.

By the time the lights had come back on, I was perched crouched on the top of a beautiful hutch in the living room.

“You turned off the lights with The Clapper, please  come down from there” He was frustrated with me.

It is hard to crawl off the hutch in any graceful way. I was trying hard not to break anything else.

“I got worried when I saw you not moving.”

He looked at me expectedly “Are you done jumping around like oil in a hot pan?”

Are you done scaring the crap out of me?

“Probably not, but if you keep clapping and launching yourself around the room, we won’t be able to get much done.” He ran his hand through his hair, scratching his scalp as he went. Somehow, it made his hair look cooler.

I sat on the chair opposite his couch.

I don’t even know where to start.

“You can start by talking out loud to me, it will be good practice.” He seemed to be counseling a young child. Which was annoying. I was older.

 

“I was turned into a vampire in 1918. So..” he waited.

“Tell me what I need to know about being a vampire.” I need answers. Some sort of center to work from.

So he started, conversationally, telling me what my new life would entail.

Ice cold skin, amazing strength, speed, beauty topped the list. Our diet was blood, fresh blood would be a favorite. There was no natural death for a vampire. Newborns were strongest for the first year. Some vampires have extra powers, some don’t. Basically, we were the best predators in existence. Some live in groups or families. Most live in small clans or by themselves. They usually have red eyes. His family had golden eyes because they chose to be “vegetarians”, only eating wildlife, not humans.

 While he described the new bindings and powers of my current condition, I found I could think of other things and still pay attention to him. My brain was so baggy. There was plenty of room in there now. So I contemplated, what had happened to my family? My friends? Derek? Was there a funeral? When could I go back to them?

Edward was describing the life of his family, moving from time to time and blending in with a new crowd. He stopped mid sentence.

 

“You can’t go back. There was no funeral; your body was reported missing in a theft at the morgue. Your family is devastated, your friends are upset. And…”

 

  How much time has passed?

He ignored my mental faux pas and answered my think question.

“Three and a half days.” He waited.

“I have to go back, I have to find my parents, tell them I am still alive, Karen has to know I am still here. What about Derek?”

“Derek feels responsible for your death.” He said it quietly, knowing his words would hurt.

 

He looked sharply toward the door. “Great. You are about to meet my brothers. I guess Alice saw you freaking out and getting loose.”

Your sister is worried I will become a slut? And she sent your brothers here to stop me?

 

“Blondes. No, get loose as in away from me and tearing into the human population in this building like you did those truffles at the candy store.”

I’m your prisoner?

The door to the apartment opened and shut. Trapping me.

“These are my brothers, Emmett and Jasper” Edward introduced them formally.

The vampires nodded in my direction, carefully assessing me with matching golden eyes. Emmett was just a flat out huge muscle. He was dressed in a tracksuit and sneakers, baseball hat backwards.

Jasper was horribly scarred. Handsome, but troubled. I felt calmer looking at him. The panic that was crawling up my body seemed to wash away. His eyes watched me like I was a rattlesnake ready to jump. He seemed weary of me already.

Emmett launched himself onto the couch in a single motion.  “She break Esme’s mirror, Bro?”

“She overreacted to her own snarl.” He said it with a smile and I felt fury ripple over me. I saw Edward toss his cell phone to Emmett.

Emmett had it opened and was cackling. The Chocolate ball picture was a keeper, apparently.

I saw red. Again.

“Don’t talk about me like I am not here.” My new voice sounded angry and cold.

Jasper held out his hand to me.

“Let me help you” He said simply.

I held my hand out, sensing he would provide relief.

He led me into the spotless kitchen. Edward must have heard the rage in my head and he and Emmet were quietly whispering, instead of laughing.

“Hey” Jasper caught my attention.

I looked at him.

“Your eyes are a different color for a vampire” He was stating the obvious. He had not let go of my hand. He had the effect of a few glasses of champagne. I was still mad, but I was more mellow.

“I am a prisoner of your brother’s. Maybe more of a science experiment.” I said it calmly, but I started to feel the trembling of panic again.

“Listen, I can help you relax, but the truth is Edward is not out to harm you. If he was you would already be gone.” His voice seemed like cream in coffee, making all the harshness in the color of my feelings lighten.

“You are doing great for a newborn, and I have lots of experience. I think you will do well, maybe even come into our clan.” He was so hopeful.

“At least listen to what Edward has to say.” I couldn’t argue with Jasper. I had a feeling no one argued with him.

He continued to hold my hand in the living room. I understood he was my filter. He would dull my reacts to a low roar, instead of a teeth-tearing attack.

Back in the living room, Edward was hanging up his phone.  Emmett was gone.

“I am sorry for detaining you.” He was formal and earnest.

“Being that I scared the Vampire away that was intent on ending your life, I felt some responsibility in making sure you could not hurt anyone in your enhanced form.” He paused.

I squeezed Jasper’s hand and took a deep breath that no longer settled me. He began to rub his hand in comforting a circle on my back. The gesture should have insulted me, seeming condescending,  but I turned to smile at him.

Back to Edward. “You should have let him kill me. Actually, being that you’re this creepily old vampire with butt loads of experience, it makes no sense to let me be turned.” I looked down at my hand clasping Jaspers and loosened my grip, remembering I was strong.

Edward took a while to respond. I finally looked at his face.

“You’re right. I should have let him finish. It’s as if I turned you myself. It was thoughtless. And selfish.” Honesty is the best policy. A harsh policy.

The door flew open and Emmett strolled in holding a small box.

“This is for you, Newbie!” He tossed the box in my direction. I caught it. Emmett’s eyebrows went up.

“Emmett thinks you have fast reflexes, even for a vampire.” Edward read his mind out loud.

Emmett gave Edward the finger.

 

I heard something scrambling in the box. I looked worriedly at Jasper. He nodded encouragingly.  I opened the box and an adorable brown bunny hopped out. I caught it gently. My first reaction was delight. I loved bunnies and had always wanted one as a pet. I would name it Thumper

I heard Edward’s harsh whisper “You couldn’t bring a snake or something? She named it for heaven’s sakes”

Oh. I get it. This sweet bunny was to be a snack.

I held it’s soft fur on my hands.  I felt it’s tiny heart beating so flutteringly fast. I could see the whites of it eyes, as Thumper lost the battle and died of fright.

I started to pet its warm, lifeless body.

I can’t even hold a bunny. I scared it to death?

 No family, no choices. Why did you do this to me?

The other two didn’t need to be mind readers to see the hurt in my face. I brushed away Jasper’s helping hands. I set the bunny down on the couch as gently as these monster hard, ice cold hands could manage.

Emmett sauntered close, snatched up the dead bunny and took a bite. We were eye to eye. 

I think he was over estimating Jasper’s calming forces.

I backhanded him, knocking the bunny from his grasp.

His face turned back to me ready to rumble. His punch to my stomach sent me backwards and into a wall.

Fighting was a good way to go. This vampire thing sucked. It sucked blood. It was surrounded by dead bodies and horrible choices. If I picked a fight with the big one, his brothers would have to protect him. And end me.

I stood up, cocked my head and gave him the universal sign for “Bring it”.

Instantly, Edward was in front of me.  Facing Emmett. Hot Tamales he was fast.

I looked at the back of his delicate neck. One twist should do it.

I knew he heard my head, but he refused to move.

“Emmett, get out of here, let me talk to her.” Both brothers were reluctant.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hurt Edward just like I couldn’t hurt the bunny.

I saw his shoulders relax.

“She won’t hurt me, it’s ok.” His hair smelled really good this close to him. Girl conditioner has its perks.

He looked over his shoulder at me and winked.

I started to laugh. 

---------------------------

“She won’t hurt me, it’s ok.” His hair smelled really good this close to him. Girl conditioner has its perks.

He looked over his shoulder at me and winked.

I started to laugh.

 

Jasper was on his phone in an instant.

“Alice says it’s fine for now.” Both brothers did a manly nod towards Edward and stepped out of the apartment.

 

 

Edward slowly turned around. “I was hoping you could join our family, which is the reason I had the rabbit brought in. It obviously did not work out.”

 

He saw the confusion in my face and felt the touch of hopelessness in my head.

 

“We will think of something to feed you, don’t worry.”

Great. Now I was the colicky newborn that needed some sort of soy milk squeezed from the teat of an alligator.

 

“Alligators lay eggs. You do know that?” His grin revealed his perfect teeth. “They don’t have ‘teats’.”

Whatever. We were both laughing now.

 

“So is Alice the boss of all you boys? What’s the deal with consulting her for every choice?”

“It is simple really, Alice can see the future, so she tries to be preemptive to protect us.” He waited for my brain to digest.

“Well, aren’t we a circus act? You can read minds, I can talk to ghosts, and she can see the future.” I shook my head in amazement.

 

Inside, I was a little bit delighted. This guy understood what it was like to share your head with outside forces. And so did his sister.

 

“It can be kind of nice.” He was treating me like the new kid in kindergarten.

 

“So what’s she saying on that pretty little phone?” My curiosity had gotten the best of me.

He seemed to weigh the odds of telling me with the odds of keeping me in the dark.

“She sees danger ahead, and great pain.” He shrugged. As an after thought he added, “She also sees great happiness.”

 

“So your sister is seeing life being life, pretty much?” a little bit of sarcasm seeped into my words.

“I guess so.” Edward looked down at his shoes and up at me again in an aw shucks kind of way. I think the only thing that kept me from melting was the fact that I was made of this vampire rock material now.

 

“Will you pardon me while I make a few phone calls to check our status?” so old school.

“Alice?” I lifted my eyebrows to tease him

“I have other people I consult with as well.” He closed the door with a click. I knew he would make his phone calls out of my extensive hearing range. Wow. This guy was a heart breaker. Do I even have a heart anymore?

 

I noticed belatedly that Thumper was gone. I had a sneaking suspicion that Jasper has thoughtfully removed the corpse. Thumper had only been my pet for about a tenth of a second, but I still wanted him to be treated respectfully.  

 

And yet I had killed a man. If you could call that sack of sickness a man. Nope, I guess I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty about that one.

 

I was looking around the huge expanse of the penthouse, wondering if Alice predicted the lotto numbers on a regular basis to keep a place like this afloat. As I turned back to the living room, with the intention of turning on the TV to check the news, I had a different show to watch.

 

Elizabeth Masen’s Show that she was putting on in my head, just for me.

 

As with most ghosts, I started out with a simple “Hi.”

Elizabeth’s name came to me before her words, I also knew her connection to Edward. His mother. His biological mother. Doing some quick, crappy Math I put her in the early to mid 1900’s. Her outfit was right out of a Jane Austin movie. The kind that wins all the Oscars, but no one can actually bring themselves to go watch. She looked quite regal. Funnily enough, truly vintage spirits come through in a Sepia color. Except her eyes, which was unusual. The eyes don't usually show color. She had the most gorgeous green eyes. Her thick hair was piled on her head in a elaborate style.

 

She locked those colored eyes on me and got to business.

“I have much to convey, and so little time, please pay careful attention.” 

I flashed on an image of Princess Leia in Star Wars “Help me Obi Won!”

 

Elizabeth gave me a stern mom look.

Oops. “Sorry, go ahead" Can she read minds too?

“My Edward let you become a vampire for a reason. He knows what you can do. He is looking to talk to me. He has been troubled for many years. He read Carlisle's mind of the account of my death. He saw the knowing in my eyes when I asked Carlisle to do everything in his power to save Edward in 1918. Edward wants to know why I would condemn him to this vampire life.”

 

I could understand Edward’s confusion. And right now I could feel my own revulsion. Carlisle had turned Edward into a vampire. Why in hell would she want this for her son? If I had any bile, I think it would be on the back of my tongue. “Don’t Judge me Miss Duncan, you have yet to understand what it is like to have a child.” She was harsh.

I saw her son reflected in her face when she bit back the regret. “I am sorry. That was not fair.” She twisted her handkerchief in her hands. I noticed it had the monogram AGL.

 

“We are running out of time. Miss Duncan, before Edward was born, I was in love, but not with his father. I met and knew a vampire that was my soul mate. After he left me.” Here, she took a shaky breath, “I married Edward’s father as was arranged. But when I knew Edward was dying, I would do anything to save him. When I saw Dr. Carlisle Cullen, I knew, from the touch of his hands, what he was, and what he could do.

 

“Well, that didn’t clear up your reasoning for me. I wonder what Edward will think.” I also wondered if he would pop my head off my neck like a dandelion after he got what he wanted.

Her eyes grew wide and afraid, “No, you mustn’t tell him! He can not know I was” she struggled for words, “with another man.”

 

I waited. There had to be more. “So you had a popsicle boyfriend before his dad? Big honking deal. Lots of ladies have boyfriends before they marry.”

She looked wildly around the room. “I feel that I am not conveying the importance of this to you. I do not want you to call on me if front of him. It is imperative that you keep my secret.”

 

None of this was making any sense. “So, you know he is a mind reader, but you come here to tell me a bunch of stuff he can’t know.”

Her handkerchief fluttered around like a dying bird. “You are much more powerful now than when you were  human. If you call, the spirit must come  If you call me I will come, no matter that it against my wishes.”

“How can I make a mind reader stop reading my mind?” I felt like the riddler.

 

“You must think of something else when your memory drifts to this conversation…Oh, here comes my Edward, I must go” She turned to poof out the way she had presumably proofed in. Something stopped her. She looked like a bug trapped in a glass, one hand had lifted her dress to a demure ankle height. The other hand extended out and pressed against the space in front of her like a window. “Release me!” she mouthed. I could hear the doorknob begin to turn.

 

I said the first thing that came to mind. “Begone!” straight out of a Halloween sign. And she was gone. I was blown away that I had to release her. I had always watched the spirits coming and going of their own accord.

 

In the next moment I was looking at Edward, who was looking at me. We were both eyeing each other with suspicion.

 

I popped up a brain screen saver. I thought very carefully about a pink hopping bunny. Well, it was more of a human, in a pink bunny costume.

From his face I could tell he was watching the screen saver. “Who did you tell to ‘Begone?’” Confusion clouded his pretty face.

 

“I was singing. I like to sing. And think about bunnies.” In a loud voice I sang to the tune of Coming 'Round the Mountain, “Begoning Edward’s Apartment when he goes, Becoming back in the door when he does.” Ouch. 

Well, that was smooth. 

I grabbed the TV remote and clicked the power. My screensaver bunny had started slapping his own bunny butt. I needed something to fill my brain. And quick.

 

Edward was still standing at the door with his mouth slightly open. I sat in front of the TV. I let the musical efforts of the singing kitchen mitt on the TV take over where my horrible song left off. “Hamburger Helper makes a great meal!”

I heard the door close behind me. Before I knew it, Edward was sitting next to me. He removed the remote from my hand. I looked steadfastly at the TV.

“What are you avoiding thinking about?” Ooh. That was a tough question. My brain started picturing her. I stamped her down.

I had my bunny pop back up. This time he was playing a huge marching band drum. The TV reflected an Energizer bunny commercial. Hey! That looks just like my bunny. Edward was staring at me waiting. Full up on in my brain. I was going to slip. I was not smart enough to not think. Which is pretty incredible.

Damn it.

 

“Get out of my head.” I risked a peek at him. He was not amused. And he was so close. I remembered how cold he felt to me on the roof. He didn’t feel cold now. I started to wonder what hugging him would feel like. His face softened. He put his hand on my hand.

 

“Flattering me won’t work either.” He started to smile. I started to picture him with his mother’s green eyes. Damn it. Crap.

 

 

“My mother!” He was incredulous.

I stamped her down again. Now my pink bunny was giving him the finger.

“Is that who you were talking to?” His disbelief and anger was starting to come through.

I looked back at the TV. What a great freaking situation. Let’s piss off the hot guy that wants to kill me.

“I would like to speak to my mother.” This he said in a cold voice. Gone was the playful smile.

“Who would keep someone from their mother? I haven’t seen her since 1918. I have questions to ask her. Just to see her face again would be..” He looked angry and earnest.

I was ticked. I wasn’t in the business of keeping secrets. Silly secrets. I did not want to be in this position.

“What do the letter AGL stand for?” I looked at him with surprise.

“I plucked that out of your subconscious. You really are an easy read.” He waited. He was really good at waiting.

I was about to give it up. I was an easy read and easy to break, apparently, when the news came on.

I started at the mention of my name. “Sasha Duncan’s murder remains a mystery, our reporter Maureen Madison is at the scene of the crime. Maureen, what is the situation?”

The anchor tossed the show into Maureen’s capable hands. She was beautiful. She could almost be a vampire herself. “Well Steve, I am at the scene of the grisly and still unexplained murder of Sasha Duncan.”

Behind her was the building rooftop where my life had ended. Crime tape flew like a flag commemorating pain and death. The chipper blonde’s hair didn’t move despite the obvious wind.

I felt a gentle hand on top of my hand again. If I could cry I would have. I knew he was angry. I knew he might even have to kill me. But I loved that he wanted to talk to his mom. What a simple request. I would have given it to him no matter what. It’s the only good thing I can do with this stupid, messed up brain. It is when I give someone peace that I know I am here for a reason. And now, when he was this angry, his kindness would still not let him leave me alone in this moment.

Screw his mother, I’m calling her after this news story. Well, not really screwing his mother. Oh God. He can hear this. Me. Thinking out loud. “Screw your mother” Great. Grreatt. Way to take a tender thought Sasha, and just piss on it. Piss on it.”

I squinted at him with one eye. His whole body was shaking. With rage? Oh. Oh, he is laughing. When he finally made an audible laugh I felt it down to my toes.

He took his hand away and put his arm around me. “I am not going to kill you. That much I have already decided.” I carefully pictured his mother's face, focusing on her eyes. I felt a squeeze on my shoulder telling me my transmission was received. 

I glanced back at the chipper bitch. The spotlights were  illuminating the scene and her expensive highlights. She was mid sentence “the missing body from the morgue is a source of pain and concern. Witnesses were brought to the scene today to, we can only assume, try and piece together what happened in the horrific, bloodless mystery.”

Maureen was really going for the gold.  She tried to look serious and grieved, but the effect was lost when she smiled at the end of every sentence.

“Steve, right now we have a witness coming from the scene.”

Obviously, whom ever let the media on the roof had done the police and the ‘witnesses’ an injustice. I knew the real only witness was sitting next to me, so it was all pointless pain.

 

Derek was leading Karen to what must be the stairway off of the roof.

 

I crossed the room in one stride. I touched the vision I saw of her face. I noticed the crowd that had formed on the rooftop as well. Almost another backdrop to add to reporter's tale.

Maureen smelled an Emmy if she could just be ruthless enough. “Miss, Miss did you know the deceased? Do you have any idea why her blood was drained? Are you horrified that she died cold and alone on this rooftop?” Maureen kept smiling at the end of her sentences.

Karen looked up at Maureen. Now Karen, when she is angry doesn’t say much. So Maureen had not one bit of notice, as Karen punched her solidly in the face. The microphone amplified the crack of her perky little nose. A splash of blood hit the lens of the camera, dripping slowly from top to bottom.

God bless the camera man, he never flinched and kept on rolling, catching Maureen, ass over tea kettle on the ground screaming “My new nose, my new nose!”. The camera man swung up to catch Derek holding back an angry Karen as he dragged her towards the staircase.

“That’s my girl!” I was still touching the screen, trying to memorize her face, ease the pain I saw there. Between the blood, screaming and chaos I saw one smiling face. 

 

One evil smiling face. I was cemented still as I watched my killer point to Karen and mouth “She’s next” then he winked. His lips moved so little, only vampire eyes would catch it.

The threat on my best friend’s life.

I covered my mouth with both my hands. I spun to look at him. He looked scared too.

I dropped my hands “Oh, Edward, you promised me you would protect them.”

Edward was in front of me in less than a human blink.

“I need you to remember the night you died, relive it in your mind” He actually put his hands on my face. I noticed he was tall. At least six foot. Maybe more.

“Think” he implored me. He put his forehead on my forehead. “Concentrate.”

So staring into his golden eyes I thought. I thought of the blurry spider. Derek, trying to get out the door. I tried to slow the memory when I was face to face with the vampire on the balcony down. Then my shoes falling, falling and making a clatter. I relived the Bastard wrapping my hair around his hand like a leash. The bite. I was shaking in my brain, if not in my body.

“You did good, the vampire on the news was definitely the one that bit you.” He was plotting our next move. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me. 

In his arms, in this ridiculous time, I found comfort. I found more then comfort. I was home. Like sliding into a warm bath. It would be ok. As long as he could hug me, we would be ok.

“We need to go to Karen’s right now, Do you know the way?” He said this above my head. Still holding onto the gentle wave of certainty he had given me.

“Yes. I do, let’s go.” I stepped back and headed for the window, with every intention of running through it and jumping down the building.

 

“Hold up, Superwoman, I have a car.” He grabbed my hand to prevent the launching. Car keys already in his other hand.

 

He dragged me behind him as we ran down the stairs to the parking garage. We slowed up in front of a Ferrari Enzo in fire engine red.

He went to the passenger door and opened it for me. It slid above the car all space ship style. I climbed into utter opulence. The yellow emblem with the horse was proof of the cars parentage. He was shutting his door before I finished my visual inspection. The engine purred to life. It sounded enormous.

 

Edward was backing out of the spot I could only imagine the valets had put it in. The cars were packed like sausages. The trip down to the road was a zig zag of driving expertise and elaborate gear shifting. I realized that the stereo was on, playing a classical piece.

I reached out to change the station. His hand grabbed mine like a rattlesnake bite.

“You have the audacity to touch my radio?” He snarled it at me. I could tell he was trying to ease the tension.

“Dude, this is an action sequence if I ever saw one, we need action music.” I pulled loose my hand and turned on my favorite station. I was rewarded with a Nine Inch Nails song. I looked him and gave him a satisfied nod. He flashed his crooked smile.

We were headed to Karen’s part of town. I had to spit out the directions as fast as I could. Edward drove like a maniac, even for my vampire's taste. Laying rubber, swerving in and out of traffic. The car took it's beating like a champ. Finally, we were in front of Karen’s building. I could see her balcony from where I sat. I went to get out. Edward pulled me back in.

“What?! We have got to go!” I was frustrated. Edward spoke quietly and quickly. “You are dead to them, if Karen sees you, there won’t be any good way of explaining it. You have to stay here. I am trusting you to not kill anyone, or leave. Can you do that for me?” He waited.

“I can do that for you.” And I meant it. “But what if you need back up?”

“I am calling my brothers right now.” His phone was opened in the next moment.

He was still waiting.

“Keep Karen safe, Begone!”and he was. I was alone with the end of my NIN song for a small second before I looked over in the driver’s seat.

I sighed. “Hello Mrs. Edward’s Mother.” She looked cramped in the Enzo. Her dress was everywhere.

“Please Miss Duncan, we have a small window of time. I must to tell you my story.” She looked pleadingly at me.

“I kinda feel like you already have.” I was getting a little sick of prim and proper. "And you can kiss me keeping this secret from him goodbye. I will not keep a son from his mother." I crossed my arms in front of me. 

 

“The vampire I loved, he was like Edward, he could read minds.  My love could see deep into my mind. He understood me better then any other person in the world.

I did not see being a vampire as an evil alternative. With a mother’s eyes and heart, when I knew Dr. Cullen for what he was, I had to try. To me Edward is like perfection personified. And now my greatest gift to this world will never leave it. I did it out of love.” Elizabeth’s spirit was spent with this admission. Her reasoning, to her, was valid. 

 

“Is this the reason your spirit has not passed on?” asking a ghost a question this direct was not usually in my repertoire. They tended to be confused between two worlds. But Elizabeth seemed to have a wonderful grasp of where she was in the universe.

“My reasons are plentiful. I can feel the pain in my son, he is not sure what to make of this alternate way of being alive and that makes me reluctant to go.” She was staring out the windshield of the Enzo.

“Mrs. Mason, you have been dead for over 70 years, it may be time to let Edward find his own way.” I tried to speak more formally, hoping to make her more comfortable.

“He is coming, release me!” She had the frantic look of the virgin cheerleader in a horror movie.

“I release you.” I whispered it.

But Edward still heard me.

He was walking to the car in his practiced “human” slow walk.

 

He still looked as graceful as a cat. He slipped into the car.

“She is ok.” I slipped into talking about Karen, but picturing her face in my mind made it clear to Edward who I was discussing.

 

“Karen is fine. Carlisle would like to move her into the building where we have the penthouse.” I wished Karen could hear her name said by this guy with the velvet voice. We would laugh together at our own scratchy voices.

Damn it. No we wouldn’t. Never again.

I thought about Karen living the vampire building.

Is there an open apartment? I thought to him.

“The whole building is empty. It is sort of a safe house for my family.” Of course, for the vampires that must print money for a living.

How is Carlisle going to manage that?

“You need to practice talking.” He admonished me.

“Carlisle will arrange for Karen to get an advertisement for a fabulous price on a large apartment. He was thinking about offering it as a business perk for our company to rent out a certain percentage of apartments to single, career minded young accountants. Your friend will qualify. I think it will work.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Another practiced move he forced himself to make to seem more human.

Won’t she notice that it is empty? He didn’t answer me.

“Won’t she notice that the building is empty?” I dragged out each word.

“It won’t be empty. Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper and Alice, and Carlisle and Esme will be her brand new neighbors.” He ran his hand through his hair again.

“You will need consent supervision, so it will help to have everyone close.” He finally turned to hit me with his ridiculously perfect gaze.

“So, Karen will be surrounded by killing machines, who you are assuming, can keep her alive.” I had all the doubts in the world.

“Do you have any better ideas?” He said it with the air of a man willing to listen.

But I didn’t have any better ideas. All I really wanted to do was eat again.

What are you going to do with me? He seemed to know that question was too scary for me to say out loud.

“We are going to help you through the transition. Try to teach you to live among the humans. Keep you fed, clothed and educate you.” This seemed to come from a genuine place.

 

I accepted this fate. I had no choice. All seven of them could easily put an end to me.

“Let’s get you home. Emmett and Jasper are getting you some take out.” Well god damn that sounded ominous. Carlisle will meet us there, and the ladies will watch over Karen for now.” He put the car in gear, turning on the headlights as an after thought.

Even though we were not rushing to save a life (maybe to end one?) Edward drove like the cops were chasing him.

 

When we parked in the lot under the Vampire building, I noticed all the cars again.

“That’s a lot of cars for an empty building.” I was making the effort to speak with my voice as a continued goodwill measure.

“We own all the cars as well. It is a good place to store them,” said Edward.

On closer inspection, I noticed most were high-end models of prestigious carmakers. We were passing BMW’s, Mercedes, and Jaguars. Mixed in were more basic Volvos and even a mini van.

We both moved into the elevator and Edward hit the penthouse button. Entering the beautiful penthouse again, I found myself looking towards the spot where Elizabeth had made herself known the first time.

I know Edward heard me puzzling over the most recent visit from his mom, but seemed content to wait to grill me about it. Or maybe he was just picking my memories from my brain like ripe apples.

The thirst had turned into THE THIRST.

Hungry again. Did it have to be blood? Did I have to drink until someone was dead?

I was about to find out. I heard a commotion in the hallway. Jasper opened the front door and Emmett was carrying a large, wiggling bundle.

I hugged my elbows with my hands, a human gesture I was remembering from when I felt unsure.

 

Jasper began, “Listen Sasha, I know the bunny thing did not go too well, but we wanted to try…”before Jasper could finish, Emmett uncovered the bundle. As the large blue tarp fell to the expensive marble floor, Emmett, set a huge doe down on its feet. Then he pinched it in the hindquarters.

In a burst of fright, looking totally out of place amongst the sophisticated furnishings,  the deer began leaping around.

I was about to complain. I was about to protest. I had my vegetarian principals. But then the hunger punched me in the throat. My lips peeled back and I was in a crouch that was so primal, so fast, there was no was no way to control it.

 

I tracked the deer with every heightened sense I had.  Before it could leap over the couch, I was on it’s back. For a spilt second, it was like I was riding the deer.  We tumbled together on the antique oriental rug. I scrambled to get near its neck. In a last bid to save its life, it began failing it’s hoofs. I took at least two good cracks in the face, before I was able to latch onto its chest with my teeth. I drained the warm blood so fast and so furiously, I had almost my whole head in its body. When there was nothing left to it’s corpse, I pulled my head out. Just like a tick, bloated on another living thing.

I looked around the living room. A good portion was destroyed. It looked like a couple of football teams had run through with sledgehammers.  I looked down at the massacred deer. Its eyes were open in fear.

The whole experience left me sure my soul was stained with blood, fear, and death.

I looked at the three vampires. We all waited. For something.

Maybe an explanation. Maybe a “I told you so”. Maybe some gentle comfort for the first kill I felt bad about.

What I didn’t expect was laughing. The silence was broken by a snort filled, knee slapping, hilarious laughter.

“You..And then.. The deer..and the mess” He was trying to talk, but gave into the peels of cackles. “Hooves..in.the .face” He backed to a wall and slid down to sitting, laughing so hard.

 

I told myself that Jasper couldn’t help but smiling because of his “gift”. But then his smile turned into laughter. Edward was the last hold out. But he gave in eventually to.

I stomped out of the living room slammed the door to the bedroom that was “mine”.

 

As the door flew off it’s hinges and embedded itself into the hallway wall, the living room laughing reached a fever pitch. As I stood in my now doorless room, I couldn’t help but notice that the men sounded human. Laughter was the great equalizer.

Amiss all my stunned anger at myself and at them, I found myself smiling too.

 

 

 

Right then is when it started. Karen was safely ensconced in the vampire lair in the middle of Manhattan.  

I had the run of the penthouse. From that point on I always had a vampire guard.

~~~~~~~~~~~

(Author's Note: The next chapter happens later in this story, but it kept running through my head and I had to get it out! There is much story before this...)

After ingesting so much blood, I was full. I looked at the the Cullens. In a group together they were so overwhelming. Like the perfection of a magazine cover, moving and talking. Each hair would fall in an attractive way. No snorting, sneezing or odd faces. I realized that I fit into this group. Here we were headed to a club to see if Alice was right. She saw us, as a group getting information about Rick’s whereabouts.

The Cullens were discussing there game plan, with Alice’s eyes getting a far away look as she confirmed or denied suggestions.

What pressure she had. Determining everyone’s fate and decisions from their possible  choices. They rely too much on her, it must be draining. I saw Edward nod.

He was traipsing through my thoughts like they were a field of poppies again.

He made a little skip and looked towards my face and gave me a wink.

I shook my head, but couldn’t help but smile a little tiny bit. In the next moment he was holding my hand. As he took it he pushed me off balance with his hip.

“I’ll stick close to Sasha, make sure she doesn’t kill anyone, and I will keep her looking as human as I can.” He hip checked me again.

He leaned down to my ear and whispered, “Remember, vampires stand too still, you need to learn how to fidget, but until you acquire that skill, I will be making you fidget tonight, I apologize in advance if anything I do to you to keep up the façade is not very gentlemanly. “

Alice spoke in her musical voice. “Ok, so far, as of this minute, we have Carlisle at the hospital, Esme and Rosalie protecting Karen and the rest of us looking for clues inside the club.

 

This little powwow was taking place in the club parking lot. We were surrounded by four amazing vehicles. So much for trying to look human. 

Carlisle walked close and handed me another bag of blood. I sucked on the IV tube like a straw. From the taste it was bear. I tried not to picture Emmett wringing a dead bear’s corpse like a soggy dish rag. Edward stepped slightly in front of me, so I had a bit of privacy.

Thanks. He squeezed my hand in reply.

I handed the empty bag to Dr. Cullen. He whipped out a small flashlight and checked my eyes again.

I knew my eyes intrigued him. He wanted to find out the reason that my bright blue eyes had refused to comply with the red blood crimson rule that vampire eyes adhered to.

 

Carlisle pulled out a dark pair of expensive sunglasses. “Wear these, they will hide your eyes, but I am pretty sure the humans will think that your eye color are contacts.”

 

We separated. Alice had insisted on a Goth motif for our outfits. She looked insanely perfect, her dark short hair in every direction. Leather pants poured onto her little frame complimented a billowy sheer shirt. Underneath was a beautiful lace camisole.  She topped off the look with heavy make up, black nail polish, and beautiful black ballet slippers.

I looked at Edward. We had guessed at our outfits, neither of us had dressed this particular part before. We had over done it.  We were both in matching leather vests, with low slung ripped up jeans.  I had sculpted his hair into a FauxHawk and added some guyliner. My hair was 80’s huge. Edward went behind me with a can of hairspray and came out with half of it gone. I did my own make up, emphasis on the red lips to take away from my bright glowing blue eyes.  Edward had ducked into a pet store on our way and bought a huge bag full of collars and chains. We took turns attaching things to belt loops and securing collars around necks, arms and wrists.

Rosalie had scoffed when she saw our creations. Edward leaned down and did a perfect imitation of a Rottweiler bark softly in my ear. It was time to go in.

 

“O.k.” I felt nervous. Rightfully so. The whole family was treating me like a  loaded gun. Or worse, an armed nuclear weapon.

 

Edward pulled me to him. Moving me. After I fell against him I realized I had not blinked since we left the apartment. I blinked.

“It’s about time.” His soft voice never sounded harsh.

Emmett had apparently found an actual store that sold Goth products and had loaded up on fake piercings and tattoos. He looked more like a guy doing a life sentence in prison than a partygoer, but who am I to judge.

Alice fluttered up to the front of the line to speak to the giant sized bouncer. I looked at the name of the club. “Fallen” looked like a high priced New York Club. Judging from the scantily clad, freezing customer hopefuls in the long line, it was hard to get into.

If a human man can deny Alice anything, I don’t think it has happened yet. She went to her tiptoes and planted a kiss on the bouncer’s cheek. You could almost watch his brain melt and settle in his pants. Poor Bastard.

Emmett helped open the door for us. Alice and Jasper went first. Emmett made gruesome faces at both of them. He waited for Edward and I. He licked his lips and winked at Edward, who mock punched him.

“You better back off, Charles Manson, cause my girlfriend can wrestle you to the ground and make you say uncle.”

“Girlfriend?” One of Emmett’s heavily studded eyebrows shot up.

We all sauntered into the club; I watched the reaction of the crowd. I understood Alice’s decree of Goth clothing. The “difference” of our group seemed to be dismissed as part of our costume. Vampires hiding in pain sight. We made our way to the side of the dance floor. Well, the cement that was having dancing on top of it. The pounding music was so loud, but I found I could hear everything through it. Scraping chairs, shouting voices, and cell phones vibrating. It was overwhelming. Then the smells mingled with the sounds. Human smells, body odor, sweat smells combined with the sound it made sliding down spines.

But what undid me was the sound of the pulses. The gentle swoosh of blood through the veins. It spoke straight to a primal evil lodged in my brain like a tumor. 

I saw a flash of Alice’s beautiful pixie-like face just as I submitted to the need to inhale. I used my nose and my mouth to try and drink the air.

Every other girl in the club must have been instantly jealous as three gorgeous men pressed against my body, seeming intent on touching me.

Edward must have heard my thoughts combined with Alice’s warning of me becoming exactly what they had feared.

Edward snaked his arms through mine from behind and locked his elbows as effectively as a pair of handcuffs. Emmett came up from behind us and slipped his arm around my waist, standing a little off to the side to allow Jasper some room to work his magic.

Last, but the most effective was handsome, scarred Jasper. He put his hands on my face. He began whispering soothing words like a snake tamer.

I stared into his golden eyes for all I was worth.

Calm started with my eyes and tickled all the way through my body.

“Dance” Edward said, and we all obeyed. To our human observers, we looked like a very risqué bunch of friends. All the while, the men never let go of me.

Alice appeared and handed me a beer bottle. “I put extra blood in this for you, drink, you will not kill a human tonight, I promise. “

I took a swig. I made a face. Where ever Alice had scrounged up this blood? It tasted like asphalt, trash and ass.

Edward made a tiny little rat noise in my ear. Uh. Yuck.

I was full up on blood. It was like trying to eat another meal after Thanksgiving dinner. After a stern look from Alice, I downed it.

“She’s good, you can let her go.” Edward changed his grip so he was holding my shoulders. Emmett stepped back and folded his massive arms in front of him. Jasper slid his hands from my face to my hand, clasping one in his both.

I did not want to let go of Jasper, he was the only thing that had kept me from going all rabid vampire on these poor souls.

“You are controlling you. Jasper just helps you center what is already in you.” I heard Edwards’ golden voice behind my ear, giving me a shot of pleasure.

Jasper nodded at Edward’s words, “I am here if you need an alignment.” As he released my hand, I realized that he was the key to Alice’s bubbly personality. Seeing the future would drive anyone crazy, but with Jasper, nothing she would see would end her sanity. He had such a great gift. Soothing the Soothsayer.

I turned to face Edward. Ashamed of how close and how quick I was to becoming a monster. I saw nothing but understanding in his eyes. “We have all been there, we are proud of you. Bringing a newborn vampire to a club full of humans is an impossible task. If it wasn’t for Alice’s insistence and reassurances, you would not be here.”

A slow song erupted from the sound system.

Nat King Cole’s liquid voice cooled the temperature of the club. “Unforgettable, that’s what you are..”

 

Edward pulled me into a simple waltz step. Having had just a few dance lessons, I knew I was outclassed, but he was an amazing leader and this vampire body was so receptive to direction.

Edward pushed my sunglasses on top of my head.

“I want to see your eyes.” I thought it was a medical check until I saw the intensity of his gaze.

He twirled and dipped me effortlessly.

Our first dance. In a twisted vampire way, this was our first date. Sure, he and his family may have to rip my head off and light me on fire, but until then, I was going to enjoy the dance.

“Unforgettable in every way

And forever more, that's how you'll stay

That's why, darling, it's incredible

That someone so unforgettable

Thinks that I am unforgettable too”

He had begun singing softly to me.

“You are trying to distract me from all these tasty vitals around us.”

He stopped moving me altogether. He gently put one hand behind my head and lifted my chin with the other.

“There is only you in this room.” His eyes went from my eyes to my lips and back to my eyes.

When he started to kiss me, I was intoxicated. The combination of the taste of his lips and the smell of his skin reminded me of something.

Home. Here, with him I was home. I hugged him so quickly, he had to try and slow my movements to make me less of a vampire. He turned our hug back into dancing.

I leaned up to look back in his face. All at once I couldn’t take it. I needed Edward to be Edward again. As Nat poured his velvet voice over us, I reached up and ruined the Fauxhawk. His messy hair returning to its normal carefree style. I snapped off all the collars and chains and dropped them on the floor. He looked at me with an interested smile, but let me continue my mini make under. I kissed his nose as I wiped away his guyliner, just a little bit next to the lashes was left when I was done. He twirled me and dipped me again. Nat’s song taking shape for us.

As we danced close to a table, I grabbed a white shirt that some guy had left on the back of a chair. I pulled it over his arms, stealing little kisses when I leaned close.

I gently let my fingernails graze his stomach as I worked the buttons of his ridiculous vest open.

“How are you going to manage this? You already put the shirt on me.” His smile daring me.

I reached to the sides and ripped the vest apart. I let it drop, shredded on the cement floor.

There. That’s better. I love you just the way you are.

The thought tripped on the tongue of my mind. Oh. God. Did I just think love?

“I am thinking love, too.” Heaven. Maybe I am totally dead and he is my heaven.

A dream. His strong arms locked around me. I felt like I could look in his eyes forever, right there, in that stinky human club, and never have another need in the world.

It’s funny how quick dreams can turn to nightmares.

Everything occurred at once. The song ended. The entire club tripled in its population and Alice’s, enjoying a dip from Jasper, whole body went rigid.

I looked out on the crowd. I recognized the instant people as spirits. For my -eyes-only. I had never in my human life had so many coming at me at once. They were all varying degrees of transparency and panic. Edward, looked focused, trying to read Alice’s mind, and any other mind that might have danger in store.

 

“I need to get some distance from you, I can’t hear with all your spirits.” Edward looked so frazzled and torn. Emmett stood close next to me and took my hand.

“Hey, bro, I got her.” Emmett pushed Edward away.

 

Edward made his way over to Jasper and Alice, who seemed to be coming to.

 

It took me a second to realize I had a job to do. I whispered, “Come to me”

And all the spirits drifted right in front of me and began talking all at once. “Fire, help, my son is here, get out, don’t you leave without my granddaughter!”

 

“Silence!” A hush whisper from me. I pointed to one of the less panicked spirits, an older gentlemen. “What is going on?”

His voice was dignified and heavily accented with England. “There are men setting fire to this building, and possibly rigging a bomb. They are very fast. Not human.”

 

I though this information and whispered it to Emmett. I saw his mind starting to assess the exits.

I looked back to the spirits. I saw in the group a girl I knew in High School. She had died tragically in a boating accident soon after graduation.

She got straight to the point. “Karen is in the arms of a monster, and he is coming here.”

I looked towards Edward. How he was comprehending all of this at once, I did not know. Or if he was. I wish I knew what Alice was seeing. Jasper was on a cell phone speaking in vampire rapid. He came straight to me and looked in my eyes, sparing me a moment “Do the unexpected. Newborns are always easy to predict, so whatever you want to do, do the opposite.”

 

I watched as he pocketed the phone, I noticed in the brief instant, I saw the cell phone screen he had phoned Carlisle. He faced the crowded room and sent waves of calm out. I imagined he was using the strength he usually reserved for Alice to prepare the room for a disaster.

Alice and Edward started to herd people out of the exits. Emmett looked over his shoulder and put his fist through the glass protecting the fire alarm, he pulled it and the lights in the club turned on. The music was blasting, so none of the humans heard the sirens alerting them to danger. Smoke started creeping in through air vents and doorframes. This whole place was about to blow. I looked towards Emmett. “We have to help them”

Emmett looked down at me.

“Sweetheart, you’ll kill more than you’ll save, letting you loose in here is a whole ‘nother disaster.” He looked so strained. I could tell he wanted to help. That he could help. That I was holding him back.

“Fine, listen, I will get myself out and run all the way to the apartment. Carlisle has blood there for me. You need to help them. You can save so many.” I tried my best to keep an even voice. I knew I was borrowing from Jasper when I sounded so reasonable.  I also did not think I was lying. I was really going to do just that.

“Alright, go, run through walls if you have to.” Decision made he leaped away from me and punched a hole in a nearby wall.

I turned to do the same when a face stopped me. A smiling face amid all this chaos. In my peripheral vision I could see Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Edward carrying humans out the holes they had created through doors and windows. They had such courage and restraint, with blood all around them. I was so proud of them.

But straight in front of me was Rick. Smiling from ear to ear like a new father. I dropped my gaze down to his arms. He held a seemingly dead Karen effortlessly. As I watched, he captured one of her fingers and broke it. She came alive with screaming and kicking. When she looked in his red eyes, she fainted. What had he done so far to make her faint just for seeing him?

He mouthed “Tag, you’re it” and bounded up to the second floor balcony, he kicked out a window and was gone with her.

This was a trick. All these people in danger and these glorious, brave vampires working feverously, so Rick could taunt me with the life of my best friend.

I knew it was a trap, but I leapt after him. Not trying to act human anymore. I heard an exclaimed “Holy Shit” and I knew I looked like I was flying, not jumping.  I didn’t care, I went out the window Rick had kicked out moments before. I stood out on a fire escape and looked around me with all my heightened senses. How in crap’s sake was I going to follow this monster, this tracker?

 

As I stood on the fire escape I saw Emmett run out into the alley all Die Hard style, holding what looked to be two or three bombs. He dropped them in the club’s dumpster. Then he stood there looking at it. And looking around. I am sure we were both wondering what the hell he was going to do with the dumpster.

He looked up. I waved. “Maybe, bury it!” I said out loud. No need to shout. He could hear me just fine. He nodded and I gave him a lame thumbs up. As I was staring through the slats in the fire escape landing, my focus changed from the now digging Emmett to the little drop of what looked like blood at my foot. I wiped my finger on it and tasted it.

Karen. How did I know it was hers? It tasted just like her, fun, happiness, and laughter. Fresh and clean. I followed the trail with my eyes.

Up. The rooftop. Again.  I jumped, leaped and grabbed. Her blood trail was getting alarmingly larger, I hopped buildings like stepping stones.

This bastard was full up on crazy.

The trail stopped near the huge air conditioning vent atop what appeared to be a bank.

I waited.  I wasn’t following someone. I was being lead.

Rick started laughing. I turned my head and took in the sight of him, leaning casually against the brick wall that protected the staircase into the building.

“You took so long, I was getting bored. This whole scene is pathetic. It is a shame that it is so easy to punk eight vampires. I didn’t even try hard. You are all honestly effecting my buzz.”

His long brown hair was loose. The  black trench coat hung open to showcase shirtless rippled torso. His jeans had a thick leather belt with a skull and crossbones buckle. He had well worn black combat boots on his feet. I am sure one look at him would disintegrate  the panties right off a woman. Until they saw his eyes. The eyes were all wrong. Despite the ridiculous color that marked him as poison like a tree frog, you could tell that they had never housed compassion. Not once had his eyes sought anything but his own twisted pleasure.

My vampire experience was extremely limited. But I had a feeling the one nudging my unconscious friend with his boot was outside of the bell curve of evil.

Karen’s arm had a huge laceration. The trail maker.  She was a useless pawn to him. The rage that filled me was so intense I almost staggered. Almost.

“Are all your soft vamp friends, saving humans? Isn’t that cute. It’s like buying ice for the fridge when the power goes out. They are all warm puppies and rainbows.” His words were deep and seductive. This was his pleasure. The mental torment.  Any pain was a cherry on his ice cream.

“Oh, yeah, they’re the wimps. Your pansy ass had to light a crap load of fires and bombs just to get past them.” I was thankful for the vampire venom in me that kept me standing straight and sounding calm.

Karen moaned.

Rick looked down at her a glanced back up at me, flirty with anticipation.

“You may be slow, but you have a sharp tongue.” He smiled as he held a foot above Karen’s neck.

“Let her be.” I said it quietly, but my threat was injected in every word.

“You want to save her. Aww.” He said it like he was talking to a baby that crapped its pants.

“Then save her!” He shouted it and kicked her body towards me at the same time.

I reacted out of instinct and caught her.  I heard an awful cracking sound as she landed against my rock hard body. Like Lennie and the mouse, I couldn’t be gentle enough if I tried.

I looked at her to see if she was injured.

The simple brilliance of his action hit me.

I was the most dangerous thing to Karen on this rooftop. The human thoughts of all our happy memories together took the fast train out of town.

His voice was all around me. Honey and knives.

“She will taste so good. See that part of her neck?” I couldn’t look anywhere but at her neck.

“The young ones, they have a snap to the skin that curls you toes. The blood comes so fast, you have to suck hard to make sure you don’t spill a drop.” Spilling a drop seemed sacrilegious right about now. 

“If you lick her neck first, you can taste just a hint of salt.” I didn’t want to crush her, so I held my body very still. I tried to tell myself it was because I didn’t want to hurt her. But he knew different. He could talk right to the evil he had introduced to my bloodstream.

“I will wake her for you, darling. You can watch as the life drains from her eyes. And she will scream so loud, when she thinks you are here to save her, and then she sees, that no, you won’t save her.” The venom pooling in my mouth as he was speaking for me.

He was in both my ears preaching to the choir of one huddled at his feet.

I was mesmerized by the blue pulsating vein in her neck. I opened my mouth. I was long beyond reason. A small drop of venom escaped my bottom lip and came to land on the delicate spot I was staring at. It began to smoke and turn an awful reddish black.

Karen’s eye snapped open and took me in. The pain of the venom was intense; I could feel her whole body wreathing with it. Trying to get away.

“Sasha?!” Disbelief and pain.

“Doesn’t that feel good, baby?” He was purring in my ear.

 

“you will not kill a human tonight, I promise.” Alice’s words. How could she have been so wrong?

 

 

I felt the hit to my back and reacted from a part of my brain that wanted to protect my prey.  I curled my body around her and was pushed into a violent summersault.

I was getting ready to bound away with her when I was backhanded. The force was like a getting hit by a mountain.

Edward took my moment of surprise to steal my friend from me.

He was holding her and watching me.

Obviously, Rick had been bitch slapped off the side of the building.

Edward smiled at my thought. Trying to bring reason back to me. I felt like a shark being asked to perform a piano recital in the middle of a blood bath frenzy.

Get her out of here. Keep her safe. Don’t let me kill my best friend. Please.

He looked down at Karen who again passed out. Blood loss? Fright?

“Stay alive. Do what ever you have to.  Stay alive.” His whisper so urgent. I nodded and he was gone.

I heard the landing behind me. Rick had me in a head lock. His anger almost had a smell.

His forearm felt like a thick log.

“Bitch. That God damn bastard has pissed me off too many times.” Rolling fury was coming off his whole hard body.

“Well, if you would quit getting beat like the red headed step child, maybe you wouldn’t be such a looser.” I was proud I had gotten the last part of my insult out before he kicked me so hard in the back I couldn’t talk anymore. I slid across the roof and landed against the metal air conditioner with a huge bang. A me sized dent was now a part of the rooftop ambience.

 

He was leaping through the air before I could scurry to my feet.

He lay right on top of me holding my arms above my head.

His mouth twisted into an evil grin. Then his face slid into a more confused thoughtful look.

Jasper’s words floated into my head.

“Do the unexpected. Newborns are always easy to predict, so whatever you want to do, do the opposite”

What was my instinct? My instinct was to knee his balls so hard they popped out of the top of his head like reindeer antlers.

What was the opposite? I fluttered my eyelashes and tried to smile.

“Why are your eyes blue?” He was as shocked as everyone else.

Instinct? Wanting to install his brand new antlers, I also did not want to tell him why my eyes were blue.

The opposite? I told him. “We think it is one of two things, either it is because I killed a serial killer for my first meal, or because I can talk to ghosts.”

He readjusted his grip to hold my wrists with one hand. He touched my face with his other hand.

 

Instinct? Bite his fingers off and spit them into his evil mouth.

The opposite? I smiled at him like he was my prom date.

 

“I think that is complete bullshit. Interesting bullshit. But bullshit.”

“You have such a way with words, you are like Shakespeare.” Oops. That was instinct.

“There is that sharp tongue. Maybe you could give me a little kiss with it.” He licked his lips. He smelled like old glue.

Instinct? Fling him off of me and into Brooklyn.

Opposite? Nope. Sorry Jasper, that just wasn’t happening.

“I’ll prove it, get off of me.” I tried to not sound anxious about it.

I knew I failed when he said, “I think I am comfy right here, Princess. Prove it to me from beneath me, where you belong.”

 

“Rick’s mom, come to me” He watched me like I was a freak in a circus.

Thankfully, the vampire in me called so powerfully that even the reluctant ghosts had to come.

A haggard, sad looking woman was standing above us. She looked confused for a moment, and then spotting the rear end of her son, she set her face in a hard way.

“What do you want to know?” I tried to sound professional.  He was shifting more then necessary for a vampire, so the words were harsh.

“Um. Let me see. Ask her what her favorite nickname for me was.” He was smiling at me again. He obviously thought it was all a joke.

I looked to his mother.

“Asshole.” She said it with a raspy smoker’s voice. I waited a beat, thinking she was insulting me. “That’s it. I called him Asshole. Because he was one.” She threw up her hands.

I started laughing. Rick tilted his head and smiled along with me.

“Come on John Edward, tell me what ol’ mom had to say.” He raised his eyebrows in expectation.

“Turns out your mother has the same nick name for you that I do. Asshole.” Rick used his hands to push himself off of me. And stand above me.

“That’s real cute. Funny. Really. Almost a shame to kill you again with that funny god damn personality.”

Despite his words I knew the nickname hurt.

“That is quite a relationship you had with your mom.” I was able to sit up and cross my legs. I felt the aches healing. The injuries from Edward gave me courage. I knew he had been here.

Rick’s mom opened a floodgate of words.

“Please. Calling him an Asshole is being nice. That boy was pure evil since the day I had his baby brother. He did not want to share. I would catch him trying to smother his brother. All the pets in the neighborhood wound up dead in my back yard. And Lord help me when he was old enough to beat me. The happiest day in my life was when he left my house. Stayed until he was 23. All he did all day was work out in the basement and shine his hunting guns. It was flat out creepy.”

Rick, said wacko, was standing almost in the image I was seeing of his mother.

I translated from one dead person to the other.

“Your mom said you were a sick, animal killing nightmare. The happiest day in her life was when your cowardly woman beating ass left town.” I tried to be matter a fact about delivering the information, but it was quite delightful.

I thought his rage might pop his head right off his neck.

Rick’s mom was still talking at me. “And I always hated that long hair, reminded my of his Aunt Edna. Not a pretty lady, mind you. “

 

“And you mother says your ugly!” I delivered the last verbal blow with a little tap dance and jazz hands. Which, in hind sight was probably like waving a red flag at a bull.

 

Rick ran straight through his own mother and headed full out at me.

Instinct? Run like I was on fire.

Opposite? Stand and wait for him to hit me.

I was liking Jasper’s advice less and less.

 

But Edward made dying worth living for.